These past few days have not been the best. For no apparent reason, I was feeling down in the dumps. Frustrated. Defeated. Done, with life.
I think friendship is the most underrated human experience. How often do we find people who not only enjoy our company, they want to be with us in all our good and bad experiences? The best of friendships are often a low investment, high return experience. These are people who are driven by nothing but their care and love for you. And the best of friends, they demand not much in return. Isn't that truly a once in a lifetime experience?
For some background, I am the kind of person who always wanted a 'best friend' all through school-life. I was the shy, almost reclusive, girl, who never had any friends. I was always one of a group, yet never one with a friend. I was the one whose absence people wouldn't notice. I always, always craved for a 'best friend', someone who would care about me, and someone who wouldn't judge me. And yet, for the entire duration of my school life, I never found one.
Now I wonder how did I get through the teenage phase of life, which was so challenging in its own ways.
Twenties is proving to be another tumultuous time for me. It appears as if life has been saying to me, everything that you fear will come true, and now. Perhaps that is to pound all the fear out of me? I wonder. The fact remains, that facing my fears one after the other, makes me tired and disillusioned with everything. It makes me want to give up on everything. And this is when, my friends, this close group of friendships which I have cultivated over the years, hold my fort. They listen to me, comfort me, reassure me. Most of all, they let me be.
I realize that not only I do have friends, but I also have immensely invaluable ones. The one in a million kinds. The ones, with whom I connect with at such a deep level - making me wonder if I will ever connect with a significant other in that way. I realize that I am so blessed to have such people in my life, that if I were to count my blessings, I'd probably count them twice.
And that's how I know, I'll be fine. I'll get by with a little help from my friends.