I am 23. Legally, I am an adult. The world and the society see me as one. My parents and family see me as one. However, I don't feel like one.
At best, I feel like a 'functional' adult.
I don't know if this term even exists: but what it means I can tell you. It means that for all purposes; I am capable of functioning as an adult, and very well at that, I'd like to think. I have a job, I can drive, and I can cook. Okay, maybe the last one is a lie. I can barely cook would be more apt - but what I am trying to emphasize is that I am fully capable of living on my own, without any need to depend on anyone else. I can take care of all my basic needs by myself.
Yet, I am unable to recognize myself as an adult. There are days, when I walk into office, and feel like a child lost among grown-ups. It's the same feeling I used to get when I occasionally used to accompany my father to his workplace. I wasn't expected to take part in any 'work'; I would just sit in my father's office, watch him work, be fascinated by the amount of power he seemed to exert.
I wanted to grow up fast, be in such position soon. I too wanted to have an audience who would listen to my instructions, who would take me seriously. I too wanted to attend 'meetings', and 'conferences'.
That was more than a decade ago. Since then, I have definitely grown up - but it seems only in years. I still feel like that lost kid sometimes, only that the fascination has died down. Of course, I am nowhere as near as my father's authoritative position years ago. Yet, now that I know what's it's really like, I am not that fascinated. It could be because I no longer appreciate its value, having got what seemed unreachable 10 years ago. Or maybe, I am just not ready for it?
Some other times though, I can actually feel that I am growing up.
Just today in the morning, I read an article which I had also come across an year ago, about how to live a contended and happy life. Back then, I hadn't understood it at all - I could not even get the context. Today, I could not only understand, I could even relate to it. I was thinking about how I could use the advice given there to make positive changes in my life. It was that moment, I could feel that I was 'growing up'. How much a difference just an year has made to me!
I think, I am in a process of transition from a child into an adult. This transition is not very nice - because let's face it, since when is a period of uncertainty and turbulence nice? It is extremely frustrating and depressing at times; but sometimes, it is also very exciting. It is now, that I can see myself progressing towards the kind of person I have always wanted myself to be. Often, I imagine the 'adult' version of myself, and it's very exciting. The adult version of me is so knowledgeable, so confident, so motivating! She is so much better than this 'functional adult' version, and I cannot wait to be her!
At best, I feel like a 'functional' adult.
I don't know if this term even exists: but what it means I can tell you. It means that for all purposes; I am capable of functioning as an adult, and very well at that, I'd like to think. I have a job, I can drive, and I can cook. Okay, maybe the last one is a lie. I can barely cook would be more apt - but what I am trying to emphasize is that I am fully capable of living on my own, without any need to depend on anyone else. I can take care of all my basic needs by myself.
Yet, I am unable to recognize myself as an adult. There are days, when I walk into office, and feel like a child lost among grown-ups. It's the same feeling I used to get when I occasionally used to accompany my father to his workplace. I wasn't expected to take part in any 'work'; I would just sit in my father's office, watch him work, be fascinated by the amount of power he seemed to exert.
I wanted to grow up fast, be in such position soon. I too wanted to have an audience who would listen to my instructions, who would take me seriously. I too wanted to attend 'meetings', and 'conferences'.
That was more than a decade ago. Since then, I have definitely grown up - but it seems only in years. I still feel like that lost kid sometimes, only that the fascination has died down. Of course, I am nowhere as near as my father's authoritative position years ago. Yet, now that I know what's it's really like, I am not that fascinated. It could be because I no longer appreciate its value, having got what seemed unreachable 10 years ago. Or maybe, I am just not ready for it?Some other times though, I can actually feel that I am growing up.
Just today in the morning, I read an article which I had also come across an year ago, about how to live a contended and happy life. Back then, I hadn't understood it at all - I could not even get the context. Today, I could not only understand, I could even relate to it. I was thinking about how I could use the advice given there to make positive changes in my life. It was that moment, I could feel that I was 'growing up'. How much a difference just an year has made to me!
It's a Friday today; the most awaited day of the week for most people in the world. Today, when I realized it was a Friday, I felt happy; which made me stop for a moment, and think - "Whoa! Am I an adult!" Because well, in my world, only adults wait for Fridays so much.
I think, I am in a process of transition from a child into an adult. This transition is not very nice - because let's face it, since when is a period of uncertainty and turbulence nice? It is extremely frustrating and depressing at times; but sometimes, it is also very exciting. It is now, that I can see myself progressing towards the kind of person I have always wanted myself to be. Often, I imagine the 'adult' version of myself, and it's very exciting. The adult version of me is so knowledgeable, so confident, so motivating! She is so much better than this 'functional adult' version, and I cannot wait to be her!
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