When I was a teenager and would be faced with the terrifying prospect of thinking about and planning for the future, I would often say to my mother in desperation, "I wish I could sleep and wake up 5 years later, when everything will be sorted!"
Then, as I entered college, that feeling left. I was glad. I thought that all the uncertainty in my life was truly over, and that, I would thankfully never feel that way again.
Boy, how wrong was I.
True, the uncertainty was mostly over... but that lasted only until I graduated from college and until I turned 22. You see, it seems to me as if I attracted the 'tumultuous twenties.' I will explain why.
My first job - well it wasn't so much of a job as it was an internship - was one that I didn't like. I loved the fast-paced nature of it, but the job itself, I hated. So much so, that I remember crying one night wondering why had I ended up where I did.
So, naturally, I left. And moved into a think-tank. In the development sector, which I thought is my calling.
Well, no regrets there. Working in the development sector definitely makes me happy. Yet, a sense of void and uncertainty in my life remains. I have always wanted to be at the top of a career - any career. But surely, one can't start at the top?
Except that apparently, one can. But that's for the super hard workers, the overachievers. All things, which I believe that I am not.
Or am I? I really do not know. All I know is, that, I am not really happy. I want to work for something greater, something bigger. But I don't know if, that will ever happen?
I can only, hope. But for now, I have been increasingly feeling like my teenage self, wanting to sleep and wake up 5 years into the future, when everything will be stable in my life. Or is that just wishful thinking?
Then, as I entered college, that feeling left. I was glad. I thought that all the uncertainty in my life was truly over, and that, I would thankfully never feel that way again.
Boy, how wrong was I.
True, the uncertainty was mostly over... but that lasted only until I graduated from college and until I turned 22. You see, it seems to me as if I attracted the 'tumultuous twenties.' I will explain why.
My first job - well it wasn't so much of a job as it was an internship - was one that I didn't like. I loved the fast-paced nature of it, but the job itself, I hated. So much so, that I remember crying one night wondering why had I ended up where I did.
So, naturally, I left. And moved into a think-tank. In the development sector, which I thought is my calling.
Well, no regrets there. Working in the development sector definitely makes me happy. Yet, a sense of void and uncertainty in my life remains. I have always wanted to be at the top of a career - any career. But surely, one can't start at the top?
Except that apparently, one can. But that's for the super hard workers, the overachievers. All things, which I believe that I am not.
Or am I? I really do not know. All I know is, that, I am not really happy. I want to work for something greater, something bigger. But I don't know if, that will ever happen?
I can only, hope. But for now, I have been increasingly feeling like my teenage self, wanting to sleep and wake up 5 years into the future, when everything will be stable in my life. Or is that just wishful thinking?